You don’t get the right to tell me to forgive, forget, or move on. If you’ve never walked in my shoes or experienced my hurt, you don’t have the right to determine how and when I should move forward after being wronged.
I think so much on how good I was to the people who hurt me; how I was so undeservingly treated after being kind and welcoming to them. To get stabbed in the back is extremely painful because it is pain you never see coming. You never have time to prepare yourself for the pain you are set to endure. You can’t close your eyes and clinch your fist to prepare for the sudden beating your heart takes when you have invested only good in someone who meant no good to you. It’s that sudden, I had no idea who I was dealing with, thought that takes over you. The world tells you to be open and let your guard down and then someone comes around and ruins it for everyone. They make you rebuild a wall even taller and stronger so that you can never be broken again.
I’m here to reiterate that you are not allowed to tell me how long it takes to recover from disappointment. The people who are quick to tell you to get over it wouldn’t last a day in your shoes. It’s quite sad that most people have to experience what you have experienced to understand why it’s so hard to let go. That is why I go deaf to those who expect me to go numb to my experiences. My feelings are very real, and I feel everything. You have the nerve to tell me to control my nerves. I can’t control emotional hurt. It’s not like a headache where you can take a painkiller to ease the pain. Time is the only true painkiller for the pain I’m feeling. When time eases my emotions, then I will move forward. In the meantime, the only right you have in my healing process is patience.