One of the hardest truths I had to face was this: many of the men I loved were not just dealing with trauma—they were carrying unhealed wounds from their relationship with their mothers. And it deeply impacted how they showed up in relationships with women like me.
These were men who appeared to love and respect their mothers. Some were even self-proclaimed “mama’s boys.” But behind that surface-level loyalty was a boy frozen in time, still carrying the weight of his mother’s disappointment, emotional neglect, or unspoken pain. That inner child never healed. And I was often the one who had to deal with the consequences.
These men objectified women. They saw us as conquests, not companions. They created broken homes, abandoned responsibility, and destroyed the hearts of women who tried to love them through it. But the root wasn’t just their choices—it was what they learned, witnessed, and internalized as little boys.
I began to notice a pattern: many of these men projected their unresolved mother issues onto their partners. And if you were the type of woman who loved deeply, nurtured, and stood in your power, you were often punished for it. Why? Because your love reminded them of the love they didn’t receive—or the truth they didn’t want to face.
Ever been a good woman to a man whose mother didn’t like you for no clear reason? Sometimes it’s because she doesn’t want her son to wake up to the reality of how she failed him emotionally. That kind of mother wounds the son—and then resents any woman who tries to love him in a way she never could.
That’s how many of us become “mothers” in our relationships. We start parenting grown men. We guide, nurture, and raise them emotionally. And even though they may need it, they begin to resent us for it—because it forces them to confront the very pain they’ve spent a lifetime avoiding.
Eventually, they push us away. Not because we weren’t loving—but because our love held up a mirror to their unhealed wounds they refuse to face.
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