Carline Sheppard knew that it was time to call it quits with her long time friend of 21 years. It was extremely hard for her to accept the fact that her relationship with Debbie was over. After years of disagreements and disappointments, she realized that she had to let go. At first she thought it was absurd to break-up with her best friend. Carline sat at a table sipping a vanilla martini in one hand while smoking a cigarette in another. “When you think of break-ups, you think boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife, but not friends” said Carline. She had made several attempts to break off her friendship with Debbie. She tried writing her letters, She thought to tell her over the phone, over dinner, it even reached a point where she just said “you know what, I’m just not going to call her anymore and if she calls me, I won’t answer my phone.” It’s like telling your sister that you don’t want to be her sister anymore. It was a difficult thing to go through, but she couldn’t continue being in this friendship because it just wasn’t healthy.
When should you call it quits with a friend?
Naturally, life runs a course. Many people play strong roles in your life at certain points in your life. Often people take separate paths, which causes separation in their friendships. Separation is different from a complete break-up. Separation should be the first option before actually breaking up with a friend. Maybe you need a break from the friendship so that you could build yourself up as an individual.
Friendships just as any relationship can become demanding, attaching and disappointing. Mental and verbal abuse can be prevalent in friendships. Jealousy is also a very strong attribute to a damaged friendship. Follow your heart just as you would in any other relationship. If something gives you a bad vibe, listen to yourself. Below are 10 definite factors that should cause you to raise a red flag and end your friendship.
1. If you feel inadequate in the friendship
2. If you feel as though you are being used or mistreated.
3. If you feel like you are the only one putting forth effort in maintaining the friendship
4. If you discover that the individual is talking negatively about you behind your back
5. If your friend is stealing from you
6. If your friend only calls or comes around when he or she wants something
7. If your friend is constantly discouraging you from achieving your goals
8. If your friend constantly calls you stupid or ignorant for making personal decisions
9. If you notice that your friend isn’t happy for you when you share good news with them
10. If you notice that you are engaging in illegal, dangerous or life threatening activities only when you are with this friend.
What is the best way to end a friendship?
The best way to end a friendship is the way you feel most comfortable. Whether in a public venue or by text message. There is no best time or best way to end a friendship. One suggestion that could be made is to properly think it out before actually doing it. You have to do what works for you.
Letting go is hard, but holding on to something that is broken is even harder. Apply this thought to all of your relationships.