2022 was the beginning of my spiritual/healing journey. I started taking doing tarot readings more seriously. I would pull cards for family and friends I knew for sure were into tarot. But I was too afraid to approach others about tarot because I know how taboo it is for many.
One day, I finally announced on social media that I was doing tarot. It felt like what I think coming out of the closet would feel like. Sharing something with people about myself that many would never understand. Sharing something I love with people who disagree with my lifestyle. Sharing something about myself with people who view tarot as dark and demonic. But for me, doing tarot brought love and light into my life. It brought me out of my darkness. I didn’t want to be here anymore until I experienced how much helping people heal helped me heal.
I’m a scorpio. I’m a water sign like the Queen of Cups. Tied to emotion, the Queen of Cups is a therapist, a psychic, a creative healer. I was finally stepping into my purpose. I began doing guided meditations and affirmations. I began to learn more about metaphysical science and esoteric matters. It was through guided meditation, I was able to meet my higher self. It was an intense, yet fulfilling experience that brought an immense amount of tears to my eyes.
My higher self was waiting for me at a table in a large, dark room. We had the longest conversation. I saw myself staring at myself in the mirror saying “I love you.” It was a total out of body experience. My higher self gave me a tight, warm hug and kept reminding me that she loves me. It was a message about self love. She gave me all of the answers as to why so many painful things were happening to me at that time.
I met with more than just my higher self. There was a man who invited me to a private beach and told me I can be whoever I want to be there. This is my safe space. I went out into the deep, blue waters on a rowboat. I got out of the boat and floated on my back while naked. The kind man reminded me that in this space I can be whoever I want to be. This is my world. He told me to show up as my true self. I can’t swim in real life, but I was reminded that I didn’t need a life vest. In this world, I can swim. I can’t drown, I can’t die, or get hurt. This was a place of peace, love, and light for me. This was a place of understanding and clarity. This was a powerful awakening. The ocean was deep and filled with life, and even that was a place of peace. No evil or danger exist in this world. All goodness and positivity.
Before leaving my higher self, she reminded me that I didn’t have to comeback because she is always with me. My spirit guides and ancestors stood with me in a sunlit field as we held hands and danced in a circle. I met a great aunt on my paternal side who I have never met or spoken to, but only heard of. She is so beautiful. Clear, brown skin, with a natural short afro like hair cut. How did I know the name and face of someone I had never met, spoken to or saw photos of? I just knew she was family. She felt like home. I felt at home. I was placed in a bubble of protection before returning to my normal space. I am loved and protected. I am loved and protected. I am loved and protected. I am blessed and highly favored.