PART-TIME LOVERS SHOULDN’T GET FULL-TIME BENEFITS

Casual, sexual relationships are part of the game for some. It’s like the Prince in the fairy-tale, Cinderella. A few women had to try on the slipper before he found his princess. Sleeping with a lot of people isn’t going to help you find the perfect mate, but abstaining from intimacy isn’t going to help you either. At some point in your life, you will find yourself in a casual, sexual relationship with someone who will do for the moment. Old schoolers call it a “booty call,” but today it’s more known as a “jump off.” As a woman, I know that good sex often clouds our minds and sometimes causes us to fall in love. We end up in sexual relationships where we are doing any and everything for a man. You decide you want more with him, and he either fills your head with false hopes of a future relationship or he easily reminds you to play your position – where there is no hope for a promotion. At some point you find yourselves becoming distant and before you know it, the relationship is over. Disappointed, you feel as though you’ve given this man so much of you while you walk away with nothing.

The lesson I learned is that part-time employees shouldn’t get full-time benefits. In the corporate world, you have to put in a certain amount of hours before you can enjoy the perks of your position. If a man doesn’t put in the work, he shouldn’t be entitled to the pay. If you’re not o.k. with being a jump off, don’t give him benefits. The boyfriend gets the benefits and the jump off gets a sample of what the boyfriend gets. As a jump off, save all the extra tricks for the guy who gives you what you want. Don’t do something for nothing. Men will tell you exactly what you want to hear to get what they want. I, sadly, respect the asshole that tells me straight up what he’s in it for. At least I know what I’m getting myself in without being strayed towards a path that leads nowhere.

I learned that in any relationship, whether committed or not, I deserve to have my needs satisfied just as he expects to have his needs fulfilled. It’s not about money; it’s about my self-respect and pride. In the game of love, not a lot is fair. But when you learn to play the game, you are more likely to come out the winner. Don’t ever give more than you’re receiving.  No matter how satisfied you are  in the bedroom, if your heart is not being satisfied, learn to walk away or play on a leveled field. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a few good minutes of passion, but a discontent heart can horde years of emptiness. Love yourself enough to not put yourself through such torture. You deserve more!
-Miss MJ xoxo

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Categories: Love and Relationships, Miss Metropolitan Junkie, Miss MJ xoxo, My Life After 30, Self, Urban Aristocrats

Author:Miss Metropolitan Junkie

Raised in the Bronx; spending the majority of my days in the Midtown section of Manhattan, I have a fabulous addiction to life in New York City. I'm a lifestyle writer and social blogger. I enjoy traveling and photographing foods, landscapes, and people in their natural element. I also enjoy attending parades and street festivals in New York City; capturing the spirit and positive energy on video and in photographs. I style people's lives by offering them tips on fashion, food & wine, dining & entertaining, arts & culture, and more!

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8 Comments on “PART-TIME LOVERS SHOULDN’T GET FULL-TIME BENEFITS”

  1. internetdrama
    October 30, 2011 at 11:56 AM #

    Love the metaphor! So true! Women give so much of themselves when they are given so little, It’s important that we learn how to reign in the emotions and recognize a sexual relationship for what it is. Great post!

    • October 30, 2011 at 12:35 PM #

      Learning to control your emotions is key! You’re so right! That is something I work on all the time.

      Thanks for commenting xoxo

  2. October 30, 2011 at 1:07 PM #

    Great post and a fantastic comparison. Wish I had this three assholes ago. 😉

  3. October 30, 2011 at 8:13 PM #

    Love this! I’ve had a few guys be upfront with me and tell me they wanted to get laid, but no relationship right off the bat. I respect when they are honest about it. The worst is when a part-time lover leads you on. It’s up to us to be smart and not fall into their traps… if they aren’t willing to give you their full attention, then they aren’t really that into you. They aren’t worth your time.

    • October 30, 2011 at 9:33 PM #

      I hate being lead on. I just sent a text to a guy I’m dating asking him to be straight up with me. No one wants to feel rejected, but it hurts more to find out that something you believed in isn’t real.

      Thanks for your input xoxo

  4. weirdaweso3e
    August 27, 2015 at 10:41 PM #

    Yeah I had one of these last year. We both knew what the deal was but then he started acting like a boyfriend expecting all of my time. And when I wouldn’t give him what he wanted that’s when he started acting like a dick. As if women are supposed to give it all and men only what they choose to give. I don’t think so. Thanks for the post, this is a hard lesson to learn. Maybe I should get a tattoo reminder. 🙂

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