Never stop loving the soul of you, the inner you who will never be defined by external incongruities.

In recent news, rapper, Future allegedly hosted a party in Miami where plus sized women were not allowed entry.  One woman posted a video claiming that she was on her way to the party when her friend who had already arrived to the event called her and told her to turn back around because fat girls weren’t allowed into the party.  Future has denied the claims, but it does leave room to discuss discrimination against plus sized women.

When I first saw the story, I did what most of us do when news breaks about some of our favorite celebrities.  I go to their Twitter or Instagram and read the comment section of their last post.  What I read in the comment section on Future’s Instagram page was heartbreaking.  Men were calling women “fat b*tches” and  sharing dark comments about death from heart attack.  It was as if men couldn’t wait to jump on the “smear a plus sized woman campaign” bandwagon.  The feelings expressed were vile and dehumanizing.

Social media has empowered people to become strong and proud bullies.  We are seeing a rise in child suicide attributed to cyber bullying.  Being bullied because of your weight is so played out. I thought we were past that! We have to learn how to differentiate tough love from bullying.  What some people call tough love is nothing more than disgust, hatred, personal insecurities, and bullying wrapped in false concern and fake love.

As someone who struggles with weight, I refuse to let anyone tell me that I should hate myself.  I am allowed to love myself at every stage in my life.  You can dislike where you are in life, and some of the poor decisions you’ve made in life, but you should never stop loving who you are. Never stop loving the soul of you, the inner you who will never be defined by external incongruities.

If the Future story has truth, I choose not to entertain anyone who doesn’t love who I am or what I look like.  If you don’t like black women, if you don’t like fat women, if I embody any quality that you are confident enough to put down, you are not worth my time, thought, or money.  I will not support Fat-shamers, racists, and colorists. 

The people you put down are often the same ones that lifted you up to be in the position you are in. You can have a preference without putting other people down. You can’t have success without supporters so be careful who you ostracize, and be mindful of how you treat those who support you.


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