One of the cruelest parts of life is growing close to someone, loving them for the role they play in your life, becoming comfortable with their presence and waking up to one day realize that you will never hear their voice or see their face again. Being thankful to have been able to feel the presence of their spirit, but understanding that it’s just not the same. Nothing will ever be the same, but you are forced to move on. How do you continue to live on like nothing has changed? Sometimes the slightest change makes the biggest difference. Not having this person around anymore makes an agonizingly painful difference, yet you are forced to move forward like nothing has changed. Who are you fooling? Without them everything has changed. Everything feels different. Nothing feels the same.
No one knows that you sit alone grieving over the loss of the joy you found in such a beautiful being who was purposely placed in your life, and suddenly removed from your life without purpose. Mourning from morning to sun set. Tears fall from your eyes while you sleep because you have to accept that you will wake to find that they’re really gone, they’re never coming back. Having to accept that you will no longer share this world with the wonderful person who was filled with so much love. The world needs more loving people and this loving person has been taken from the world. You can only stand in confusion, you can only quietly whisper their name in your prayers and thoughtfully remember their smile in your memories. You can only grieve.