I don’t want conflict with a woman who has endured the same grievances as me in a relationship. If we suffered similar consequences; becoming single mothers because of men who never lived up to our expectations, don’t bring drama to me. We already have enough issues being black women in America; raising black children in America. We should be operating as allies instead of acting as enemies.
If your child’s father is in my life or if my child’s father made you his wife, girlllll let’s work together. Let’s become a family. Let’s raise our children together. Your children are mine. Don’t feel insecure. My child is yours; I’ll get over my issues because our children mean more than anything to us in this world. Our children’s wellbeing, comfort and happiness take precedence over pettiness.
As black Queens, we set the tone. Our kids follow in our footsteps so when they hear us bad mouth step mom or step dad, they feel caught in between in an already painful situation. Sister girl, we don’t have to love each other, but mutual respect should be shown especially in front of our children.
Blended families are so common these days. Our own children may end up divorcees starting a new blended family of their own. Lay the foundation for healthy relationships. Lead by example. We may hate our exes, but if our kids love them and their new partner, we have to learn how to get out of our bitter feelings and let the love flow.
(Our first vacation as a blended family. I arranged a trip to the Dominican Republic for my daughter’s birthday. I am grateful for my husband and his contributions to our lives. Although he is not my daughter’s biological father, I encourage building bonds. The transition has not been easy for my daughter because for so many years she’s had me all to herself. Now she has to share me with someone. I want her to view this experience as not losing her mom, but gaining another father. Being part of a blended family is not easy. There are moments where I wish I never had to experience a lot of the hurt that comes along with it. My main focus is making sure my daughter has a safe, stable, loving and peaceful home to grow up in.)