Forgiveness has always been something I have struggled with. When you are kind, honest, compassionate, and loving, people often take you for granted. They assume you will always be there to accept their mistreatment. They will push you away, test your boundaries, and when you finally choose to walk away, they will call you bitter or accuse you of holding a grudge. You are expected to forgive, to let bygones be bygones, and to forget every betrayal. You are expected to forgive the lies, the gossip, the theft, the abuse, the disrespect, the disregard, and even the discard, as if your pain is disposable and your boundaries are optional.
But when you know your worth and you have had enough, it becomes wisdom, not bitterness, to never return to people, places, or things that rob you of peace or purpose. You are not obligated to accept every apology or pretend nothing ever happened. Some experiences hurt so deeply and change you so completely that there truly is no going back. In some cases, forgiveness is not even the point. The truth is, there are wounds the heart cannot forget, even when the mind tries to.
Still, do not carry a grudge. Do not be burdened by someone else’s inability to value your goodness. Forgive yourself for trusting too easily, for staying too long, and for giving too many chances. Apologize to yourself for ignoring the first signs of disrespect. Then release it. Let go and let God have His way. Love yourself enough to believe that better days and better people are ahead. Stop rebuilding bonds you did not break, and start rebuilding your relationship with God, your self worth, your confidence, your happiness, and your peace. Let those be the fortress that guards your heart from those who mistake your kindness for weakness.
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